#ghostsofchristmasfuture

Merry Christmas, Monkeys

The Barrelhouse crew has been struggling with our Christmas list. How do we say thank you to you, our great readers and subscribers and...

Betty was a woman who could get anything she wanted when drunk— those blue eyes, deep blue— but she never stopped running away at the...

The phone rings and the woman swirls her glass, watches wine the color of ruby coat the sides of the crystal. Wine is the only red she...

He won every time, which was part of the game. Because John McClane does not lose. Nor would we want him to. In the end, Uncle John...

for Nam “If there’s a bright center to the universe, you’re on the planet that it’s farthest from.” –Luke Dearest Father, Last year I...

The fight had left Betty with a cut on her hand and a speck of metal oxidizing in her cornea. It all started when Bob was rehearsing for...

I’ve been sick for two weeks but America has been sick its whole life. America will always choose a rich white kid over two guys living...

Della and Jimmy fought all the time. People often told them, “You fight like a married couple!” This joke was usually told by a mutual...

For Hermey, those snowy, lamp-lit evenings had lost their luster. Once, as a younger man, he would frequent the queen bars in the...

The snowy December recess at Warren G. Harding Elementary School was only the beginning. Flick’s mother had re-bandaged his tongue after...